From Obligation to Passion June 11, 2011

This past week was the 2nd Annual Conference of our new Susquehanna Conference of the United Methodist Church. I have to admit that I have not looked forward to this week. I am not one for nit-picking at documents Committees have spent hours praying over and working on. Nor do I care for the tension that surrounds resolutions, some of which I still have not read. I do look forward to meeting new Pastors and hearing about their churches, catching up with old friends – you will always see Ron Bowersox on day 1. But I go out of obligation. Obligation to my position at Asbury, and this year obligation as our Lay Member to Annual Conference. And as Conference started on Wednesday and Thursday it was playing out just as I expected. But then Friday came.

The vision team and the cabinet of the Annual Conference had worked diligently on a proposal for rethinking our # of District Superintendents and also the way they are used. Their presentation started and it was the perfect blend of knowledge and vision for trying some thing new. After all the statistics they shared about our constant decline I would have been surprised if the proposal did not pass. It was in the moments after their written prayer of Confession that you heard evidence of the Spirit at work during our hours of Holy Conferencing. From that moment forward all of Conference just seemed different. There was a glimmer of hope again. But that wasn’t all that our Bishop and Cabinet had planned. Pastor Adam Hamilton from Church of the Resurrection would start speaking late Friday afternoon on Leadership followed by a presentation on Worship Friday evening. He was authentic, challenging and direct with us.

Driving home Friday night Jeff, Ginger and I had the most transparent conversation I have been part of in a while. Each of us stepping forward to own places we have failed in the areas Adam addressed. Committing to changing and holding each other accountable for at times burying the gifts God has given us to do ministry. For me the night was still fresh on Saturday morning. I remember looking up into the sky as I waited for our 7am trip up to Messiah and thinking – God I know you still want me to move forward but I am terrified. You see up until this week I had convinced myself that I was called to be a Pastor but Not in the United Methodist Church. I simply wanted no part of the obligations that held.

Saturday morning we arrived at Messiah and we were once again challenged by Adam this time his presentation focused on Mission and Evangelism. But for us it seem that this time it was not so much about the church, it was much more personal. He shared some of his story with us and how that story affected his ministry. He shared his views on marrying those who are not members of a church and his process for pre-martial counseling. All the while challenging our own marriages and relationships. Challenging our acceptance of ALL God’s children when they enter our doors on a Sunday morning. Adam closed with a prayer very familiar to Methodists – the Weslyan Covenant Prayer. But you see my breathe was taken away, the tears just rolled down my face. I knew that God was leading this Conference in His direction and He was still calling me to be a part of it.

We left Messiah today re-energized, more passionate and with a deeper willingness to do whatever it takes to accomplish the mission laid out before us. This year writing a report of the business updates of Conference may simply not be enough to share with our congregations what happened on these historic days for the Susquehanna Annual Conference – To God be the Glory!!

A Card May 6, 2011

I received a card today from someone very unexpected. I was taken by surprise and after reading it felt it was important enough to hang in my office for a while. A lot has happened during the day but in reflecting on it all, I came back to the card.

When someone cares for you it changes everything. It changes how you see them, it changes how you see others. It opens your eyes to see God at work. What if one of our most important missions in the church today was simply to care for each other? Seeking God first, then caring, praying and waiting on God. I have to wonder what change would be like if this was how we functioned. I am not saying that everyone would always agree or like every change. But I believe it would be different than the hurt, pain, anger, frustration, etc that we are living with today.

Instead, we only hope they will “see our side” and I am sure they hope “we will see theirs”. What about God’s side? Isn’t His vision for His church important? Does He not call us to Love one another and always be striving for Unity?

It’s nice to sit back and talk a good talk. But if I’m honest, I must admit I have spent 7 years failing at this. I have always thought that people who didn’t see things OUR way just didn’t like change. I have even thought they didn’t want to grow in their faith and at times have questioned church attendance versus their personal walk with Christ. How humbling it is to find out that maybe it is I who needs to grow. Maybe I need to consider changing. To love and care first, despite the cost and let God handle moving His church in His direction. Maybe the church can move forward and love and care for one another at the same time. After all that’s the plan Jesus gave us, is it not?

Maybe, just maybe a card, a sign of showing you care, can make a difference.

A Bowl of Soup and the real Bible October 8, 2010

Lately I feel like events should come with disclaimers. Such as WARNING – You are about to spend 72 hours looking in the mirror and reflecting on yucky parts of your life, or WARNING – Speakers will speak truth and it will hurt your pride and change your life. These are just my perceptions of my last two trips away from home – Asbury’s Women’s Retreat and Catalyst.

First and foremost, and somewhat unrelated to the title, I believe there is a HUGE difference in “loving God” and being “in love with God”. Do you know the depth of your love for Him? Just something to think about as you walk on your life journey.

Okay so now onto Catalyst speakers. We’ll I prayed for focus and out of 6 sessions today, there were only 2 speakers that really grabbed my heart.

This morning Andy Stanley spoke on the story of Jacob and Isau in Genesis 25:29-34 (the Message) “One day Jacob was cooking a stew. Esau came in from the field, starved. Esau said to Jacob, “Give me some of that red stew—I’m starved!” That’s how he came to be called Edom (Red). Jacob said, “Make me a trade: my stew for your rights as the firstborn.”
Esau said, “I’m starving! What good is a birthright if I’m dead?”
Jacob said, “First, swear to me.” And he did it. On oath Esau traded away his rights as the firstborn. Jacob gave him bread and the stew of lentils. He ate and drank, got up and left. That’s how Esau shrugged off his rights as the firstborn.”

Can you imagine, trading your birthright for a bowl of soup? Now if you aren’t familiar with the oldest sons birthright in that time here’s some background, being the first born son meant, you received 90% of your parents inheritance, you were the “family judge” for all disagreements and you received abundantly more of God’s blessings. Esau traded all of it a bowl of soup, really?

I know to us it sounds strange but unfortunately we are always tempted to make trades like this in life. I have made a lot of them. Throughout high school and college I constantly traded my need for acceptance through un-Godly relationships for God’s plan for my future. There have been times where I have traded honesty for the next rung on the ladder of success. My craving for whatever – acceptance, pride, self confidence, you name it has often cause me to trade God’s plans for my life for my own direction.

This is about as far as I can go on Andy’s message this morning as I am still processing it for my own life, but I really felt lead to share it because, maybe someone reading is at a crossroads, and maybe they will choose God’s amazing plan instead of their own bowl of soup.

Tonight ended with Francis Chan. Some of you may know that Francis planted a church 16 years ago which has experienced tremendous blessing and growth but 4 months ago Francis made the decision to step down as the senior Pastor and move his family to Asia. Several weeks ago his wife suggested selling their family home, which they have done and next Saturday they leave, they move to Asia totally surrendered to God, where ever He may lead them.

Tonight Francis spoke on truth. As in biblical truth, not the nice picking and choosing but the entire bible as a book of truth. What if the Bible really is true? What if all of it is really true? Maybe a better question is, if ALL of the bible is true, what does that mean for your life?

Below are some passages of scripture Francis read this evening,

1 John 3:16-18 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

Matthew 25:44-46 Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.‘ And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

Luke 12:33AB Sell your possessions, and give to the needy.

Ezekiel 16:49 Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy. (What does this mean for those of us living in America, those of us who throw away leftovers? Who walk past the person on the street in need?

James 1;27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

In closing Francis gave us one last scripture to consider, it was 1 John 2:6, “whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” What would your life story look like in the book of Acts? Would you fit in as a disciple of Jesus Christ? What if ALL of the bible really is true? What if we are supposed to fall in love with Jesus and He is to be our role model? What would life look like?

I know mine needs some Significant changes, how about you?

Why is commitment to Christ any different? September 21, 2010

I am feeling very challenged today by the low bar of discipleship set by many churches in America. I have had to work through some anger in this area but as I come out on the other side I must admit that I simply don’t get it. Everything in our lives requires commitment. Getting married should be a life time commitment, having children the same – life time, buying a house is on average 30 years of a commitment, heck even a car is on average 5 years. But we claim to believe in this God who sends his only Son to model the Christian life for us and end that perfect life with the ultimate sacrifice of death on a cross and commitment is just too much to ask!?? What?!

I’m sorry if this offends any of you but it’s irritating at my core. For the past 7 years I have witnessed continued lowering of the bar of discipleship. Have we ever thought that those really watching people who claim the name of Christ may give a little more credit to the ones who are TOTALLY committed? Listen folks the luke warm people get spewed in the end. (Revelation 3:15) It would be better for you to believe nothing or to live totally sold out. But this middle crap is just that- vomit! It is not the church that “requires” commitment, it is life of Christ. It is Christ himself who has showed us how to live and asks us to walk in his footsteps. It is God who desires our life of worship. It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit and our ABSOLUTE surrender that we can live the life that God desires.

So I come back to this same question, why is it that when the church finally grows some courage to ask for commitment and receives less than desirable feedback do we retreat in fear? Did you ever think that not everyone approved of Jesus’ messages? That people found His calling to a life of discipleship too difficult? It is not and never will be okay with God to live this life on a fence. Sunday mornings you may show up in “worship” and live the rest of the week however you want. I believe that if we as followers of Christ were a little more willing to take the plunge, get both feet out of the boat, and live a totally sold out life people might just be attracted to Jesus Christ, and they might just want to know what it is about you! But people who claim to follow one thing and live some thing totally different, well the world sees enough of that.

Now don’t get me wrong, we will all fail at times, I’m not challenging those who are sincerely trying to live as an authentic follower of Christ. We will never be perfect. BUT, there’s a huge difference between striving to follow Christ and claiming to believe one thing but living in the total opposite direction.

I guess I believe if you set a high bar, people will rise, and if you set a low one, they will just get by. I believe in the practice of spiritual disciplines in order to stay connected to Christ such as, prayer, reading scriptures, worship, acts of mercy, silence and solitude. How exactly do you live the “Christian life” without practicing at least some of these?

Maybe for me it’s both and – commitment and spiritual disciplines. You know I started this group spiritual direction process over the summer, it’s called Restoring Eve and I expect it to be a phenomenal journey. But in order to participate you MUST commit to be there EVERY week AND attend TWO retreats! I didn’t realize just how important these commitments were until I had a potential conflict with the first retreat, and I had to make a decision to solve my conflict or simply NOT participate in the process at all. So, I chose to solve the conflict because I believe in the ability for this time to be one of the most transformational experiences I have ever had.

What if people saw the church in that same way? An opportunity for real life transformation? Then would it really be too much to ask for a real commitment?

Learnings from the week July 24, 2010

My workshops during my time at NACBA included, Creating an Open-Handed Community, 3 Simple Rules for Creating Successful Experiences, Changing the Scorecard for the Church, Connect your Congregation via Web 3.0, Revitalizing Giving in Difficult Times, Shepherding a Congregation through Major Change, Social Media and the Church, Discovering Your Kingdom Concept, and The Six Elements of Vision. Right now I feel like my head is one big whirlwind of information.

But, in short, the over arching theme of these workshops was, everything you do affects every aspect of the church.

Vision affects Finances which affects ministries which affects people which affects your ability to live out the command of the great commission to go into the world and make disciples for Jesus Christ. It didn’t seem to matter which workshop I attended this message was consistent. I am returning with 3 very important areas to focus on as I return to Asbury. These areas include helping to discern God’s vision for Asbury, diligently working to cultivate a culture of generosity, especially among our younger families and figuring out how to use tools in the world of Social Media to effectively communicate with our members.

On a more personal level, I had a good week. I can’t say it was a great week. Unfortunately the business of the church is often separated from the power, grace and love of God. I love the people I met this week but many of them might be focused in the wrong direction. I know that Senior Pastors and Ministry Directors can be crazy. They don’t always follow the rules, often speak without thinking, and some times I wonder, “what were they thinking?”! But, I have come to understand that God’s purposes are bigger than we can understand and He really does not owe us an explanation for why he called who he called. I have realized that life transformation is more important than any list of rules. We may have to tweak how things are done to comply with laws, etc. but the most important thing I can do every day is to show the people on the front lines that I support them and believe in what they are doing.

I love our staff. I don’t agree with everything they do but I still love them. I love them because loving people is the most important thing to GOD. That’s a topic you will hear more about on August 22nd at the 9 & 11 Contemporary services. They are gonna let me preach on Romans 12 and God has written most of the sermon this week. I can’t wait!

That’s all for tonight, I am counting the hours till I can get on a plane, I really miss Mike and the kids. It’s been a very hard week for Grace as I have never been away from her this long. She has beat up her friends at school every day and yesterday morning she got on the phone and said, Mommy are on the plane? I miss you. I had all I could do not to walk into the next session crying but we both survived. I am ready and anxious to be in York.

God is Working!!! July 13, 2010

It’s been a very long time since I’ve updated this blog. Life has been, what it always is – crazy, busy, fun, frustrating, and everything in between. But, one thing I know that I know that I know – God is doing awesome and amazing things! There’s so much to write about that I don’t know where to start….

I have the opportunity to preach again in August on the 22nd and 29th. Of course I agreed to preach before finding out that I would speaking on Romans 12:9-21. I have read this passage daily for the last month and God has really been working on my heart through these words. I am still not exactly sure what God wants to say to his people about this passage but hopefully he will reveal that very soon. Next week I leave for Florida to close graduate as a Certified Church Business Administrator. In some ways I feel like next week will be the closing of a Chapter in life where “Business” reigned above God. I am extremely excited to be starting a year of spiritual direction this fall and next fall enrolling in Evangelical Seminary in Myerstown, PA to starts my Masters of Divinity. There are still MANY things that scare me about becoming a pastor but I can no longer deny that God has placed that calling on my life.

I am currently reading several books which include Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton, Seeking God Together by Alice Fryling and Radical by David Platt. The Radical book is pushing on my beliefs and relationship with God and really making me look at what we as Americans have turned God into. It is insanely convicting, I am still in Chapter 3 as I read, put it down and fall on my face before God. I admit that I have never been so challenged by a book before. When we really step back and look at God for who he is we can only stand in awe.

My “job” at the church is all that I ever dreamed it would be. It was what I thought ministry should be like before I ever started working in a church. It is days and nights of seeking God, meeting with Him, praying for his people, worshiping Him, loving Him and his people, seeing people how he sees them and best of all it is a once in a lifetime opportunity to partner with 7 other people who are doing the exact same thing. I feel like for the first time in my career we are living in the book of Acts. I cannot help but be excited for God’s church, God’s purpose and God’s plan.

There is a time for everything, and it is finally our time to see revival in our own lives and in the life of the body of Christ. As I sit here writing 70 youth are in the room next to me, breaking bread together and talking about seeing Jesus in their mission work today. We cannot deny that God is at WORK!

why? March 11, 2010

Our daughter is currently going through that wonderful stage of her 2 year old life when every thing we say is followed by her asking, “why”? Tonight as she was running around asking us why I realized that God probably feels the same way we as parents do. I could imagine him thinking, you just would not understand, after all you’re only 2! Or why can’t they just trust me, I have great plans in store for them. Lately I feel like God has been pretty direct with his question to me,”Why don’t you trust me?” I hate to admit that there are so many times I want to control my circumstances and find it extremely difficult to trust even God. His plans don’t always make sense to me and I guess that scares me. But, I choose to believe in every circumstance, God is Good. Psalm 139 reminds me just how interested God is in my life,

Psalm 139 :1 – 17 O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night— but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you. You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!

One thing I have learned is the my feelings change as often as the direction of the wind. But I trust in the word of God to be absolute truth. I put my trust in God and his plan even on the days I don’t understand it. Tonight I am reminded that to God, I may be just like our little Gracie asking Why but never being able to comprehend his answer. God is good, that is the truth every day no matter what our circumstances are.

New Years Eve December 31, 2009

Happy New Year Everyone!
It’s pretty cool to spend the day reflecting on the goods and bads of a year and trying to learn from both. It’s also a good time to set measurable and realistic goals for the coming year. Not necessarily resolutions but actual goals with success incentives.

So, lessons learned in the last 12 months, Don’t rush change, people must feel that there is a need to change and have the desire to want more. Unless urgency and desire are created any change, even good ones have some very bad ramifications. I also learned that in order to really walk with Christ you must love people even when it hurts. I thought I had really accomplished that until this and then I had to learn it all over again. I definitely learned that transitions while some times scary are often just what is needed. We had several transitions at the church this year and taking the time to step back and look at the big picture each transition needed to happen and brought us one step further on the journey. This year I learned what it’s like to work on a team. I haven’t felt that way very recently but I’m sure we’ll get through this too. The staff have really become a team and that’s probably the one achievement I am most proud of in 2009!

Goals for 2010 – For Asbury some goals are to get our new database software off the ground with all kinks worked out by the end of February and to pester people until they use it so we can have a real assimilation process and help people meet Jesus. I also want to complete the final part of the NACBA certification by March 15th, hopefully sooner if I can get some alone time in Flordia; I work better in a warmer climate!! I also feel the need to establish team development ideas with strict follow through. I don’t want to lose every thing we’ve gained in the last year.

Personal goals are to re-achieve my summer weight by Easter. I started yesterday, intentionally not a New Year’s Resolution, and let me tell you, sitting around the house on nibblly New Years Eve has not been very easy. But, the scale was really mean yesterday morning so I am still motivated. Mike and I are taking several days next week and through out the year to invest in us. We’ve fallen pretty far apart and are probably better coworkers right now than friends or life partners. We’ve let work drive a very large rod in between having any type of relationship so fixing that is a huge goal for 2010. I have adopted a 15, 15, 15 goal for my relationship with Christ. 15 minutes in the word, 15 minutes talking to him and 15 minutes listening for him each day. This isn’t much time and I am not even committing to doing 45 minutes at once but if it’s really my calling and an important part of my life I must find the time. I think I also need to spend some time working through the fact that I don’t really value community or fellowship and at times when I need it the most I crawl inside my house and sit silently. I know this must change if I want to continue to grow.

So, what are your goals for the coming year? What are lessons you’ve learned this past year? How is God stretching you to the next level? It’s very good for the soul to take time to reflect!

Christmas, is it over or just beginning?? December 26, 2009

Well it’s December 26th, are you ready to take the tree down? I was at a store today and Valentines decor and candy has already invaded. It’s all over, the presents are unwrapped, dinner is eaten and the hype has come to an end. But, Christmas has just begun…think back to that first Christmas, Jesus is only a day old. Contrary to the movie version, the Wise men have not yet showed up. Mary and Jesus are just starting to recover and attempt to figure out this next chapter of life. Jesus is just an infant, a pure, sweet little baby boy who, over the next weeks and months we will journey with to the cross. A manger to a cross…for me Christmas has just begun as I am reminded of living a life for Christ, a life worthy of his coming, his dying, and his resurrection. Now that the world has put Christmas away, let’s continue to celebrate, this child’s life means eternal life for each one of us. Merry Christmas!

Complete Surrender December 11, 2009

I would consider myself a fairly confident person. I usually approach new tasks with enthusiasm and boldness. But, I am starting to realize this type of thinking can often stand in the way from God’s real plan.

I went back to York College yesterday to do some work in their library and I admit that visiting the campus has been some thing I usually dread. I don’t like to be reminded of the person I was then and the decisions I made. Going back to campus has often brought back memories of a life I work hard to forget. But yesterday’s visit was finally different. I approached my time there through a new perspective. I used those memroies and many mistakes to reflect on how far I’ve come. I realized that the person who went to York College no longer lives in this body. I have finally taken enough baby steps of change to feel like I am a new person, living a life that centers around the life of Christ and doing my best to live and love the way he did. The visit back in time actually felt good!

But, of course the pride issue is always knocking at the door and I started to think, you know I can do this, I can walk this journey with boldness. I believe there’s a level of bolness and confidence that is good for the soul but often times I cross that line and become overly confident. Unfortuantely, this prevents God from really being able to use me for his purpose. I believe people can see this in me and probably wonder which Aimee is going to show up some days. I hate stuggling with pride and I’ve been told that will probably never go awy. I pray it does.

I want to work toward being humble instead of accomplished, toward serving instead of leading, toward loving instead of proving! I believe this is the only way to tryly lead people on the journey of faith, to live a life that reflects His image. It’s easy to stay humble when that’s your measuring stick because I definitely fail horribly every day. I pray that I can stay focused on this through out the next several years and especially once God calls me to serve at one of his churches. So this morning, I am once again completely surrendered, knowing that if anything good comes out of this day, this journey, this life, it is all because of Christ working through me.